I have had this topic in mind for quite some time.
But I find it difficult to craft.
So this is my first attempt tackling this issue.
It might be just a one time thing or it might even be a series kind of thing.
Here goes...
As I'm writing this post, I have often been asked the million dollar question.
Be it at the office, at home, at hangout sessions, yada yada yada (read: everywhere).
"Zira, when are you getting married?"
I will either find myself laughing so hard or wanting to disappear so bad whenever the question popped.
I have no idea on how I should respond to that very question.
No matter how many time I've been asked, the answer scheme is something I never managed to get a grasp of.
Then the next thing that will come out will be;
"Hey you're going to be 24 soon, stop being too choosy."
Yeah right...
I am turning 24 next month.
And out of nowhere I am suddenly choosy.
Funny.
Thing is, it has been quite sometime that I'm nowhere near the relationship department.
Not that I don't want to, it's just not what I'm looking for.
I just graduated and wanting to focus on the more important part of life; getting a job.
Never crossed my mind that once you get a job, that will be the end of it.
Poof!
Just like magic.
The job consumed you and sucked out the life that you thought you could have previously.
This year end will mark a year of me being in office; 6 months of internship, 6 months being a permanent staff.
And just recently, I bought my first car.
Thus making life not an easy juggle.
Though my job consumed me, I will always find time for my deep thinking session.
More often than not it will happen later in the day by the platform as I wait for Mama to finish her work.
It is then that I analyse the issue mentioned earlier.
Will I ever be in a relationship again?
Am I being too choosy?
When will I get married?
Is there someone out there for me?
Like wildfire, questions start to fill my mind.
Panic starts to prickle.
I take a deep breath and I close my eyes.
Total calmness.
A while later, I got a hold of myself.
While observing people from all walks of life heading home, my analysis begin.
First and foremost, as you turn a year older or wiser (whichever you prefer) the definition of a relationship evolves.
You no longer want to be in a relationship just for the sake of having one.
You want a relationship that means something and possess the potential of being more in the future.
At least that is how I define my desired relationship to be.
Definition issue : Resolved.
Next up is the critical part.
What you look for in a relationship?
24 hours companion? A shoulder to cry on? Someone to share everything with?
That needs to be sort out too.
In my case, I wish to have someone that accepts me for who I am.
I am far from perfect.
I'm constantly weird and crazy.
I laugh hysterically and at random.
I'm loud yet romantic and sentimental.
I'm independent and dependent at the same time.
Too complex for someone as petite as I am huh?
Even I think I'm too much for anyone to handle.
What's next?
Potential suitor.
The most interesting part (you think..?!).
I pretty much have crafted the relationship that I wish to have.
Now who will be the right one to fill in the spot?
Honestly, I have close to none any specific criteria of my dream man.
All that I know, as long as he can accepts me, we're good to go.
I don't go for looks.
I don't fall for money.
I don't seek for perfection.
However, I do have a problem;
If a man thinks that I'm out of their league due to my job or my car.
The world that we're living today provides equal opportunity to all.
It is not fair for one to diminish the chance of having a relationship just because of such excuse.
Having a job or a car doesn't mean anyone is better off than another.
It only means that yes she have something more, and you should prove that you have something better.
Why must you look at is as a glass half-empty when she looks at is as a glass half-full?
Often it is the what-ifs scenario planted on the mind that hinders one from taking the first step.
There's no harm in trying to approach even if she seems to have everything.
I still remember that back in university people used to have the idea that I don't do mamak hangouts.
In reality, I was raised with numerous mamak visits and mamak is my ultimate hangout destination.
What you perceive and what's real is two different thing.
Indirectly, I addressed the point on me being choosy.
Guess what, I'm not.
It is not my fault if men avoids me because of what I have.
It would be absurd of me to simply quit my job and abandon my installment just so that someone will then be interested to start a relationship with me.
Life is all about give and take.
Adjust and adapt.
I am single by choice for now.
I believe one day I will no longer be single and I will happily be married to my better half.
I understand the concern of all those around me.
I appreciate it.
Trust me when I say that I'm concerned myself.
Hahahahaha.
Still along the way I do fall for someone and I do pursue.
But it is never something that I stressed myself with.
Just bear in mind that the path I've chosen for the time being is something that I am most comfortable with.
I'm happy and I'm enjoying life.
That is not something bad either right?
