Thursday, February 7, 2013

Daddy's Girl

I'll begin my post with this statement.
I am daddy's little girl.
No matter what, that will always be.

It is a known fact to my siblings.
Dad will always give in to me.
He may not say it out loud.
But his action speaks louder than any words can be.

Having said that, some may have the idea that I'm a spoil brat.
To some I may be.
At times I may be.
But then who will not be?
I doubt that anyone will have a pass at that.

There's absolute advantage to be one.
I won't deny the fact.
Seldom my wants are being denied.
However, the way I interpret these situations are not at par with what others may think.

My well being as daddy's little girl is not something that I often take advantage of.
Yes I do get what I want, from the early days.
According to mum, I was daddy's favourite right from the start.
I do get people in trouble when I throw in my tantrums.
I was kid back then, what do I know?
Debatable.

As I grow up, I am always a determined person.
From the girl who refused to enter school upon reaching the front gate of school, I blossomed beyond what people expect.
I turned out to be as diligent as one can be.
I become more hardworking in my studies.
And at a young age, I laid out my life plan.
I truly did and it is evident to many especially my closest friends.
Asked them, they will be saying that I'm well-organised and I'm capable of reaching the sky.
I believe I do.

One thing that many failed to realize was the one fact.
The fact on how similar I was to my dad.
Through my living years, I find it hard to be on the same page as my siblings.
It's like we are speaking different languages and living in different worlds.
We are so world apart that I often feel left out and abandoned.
It was tough for me.
They have no idea that was what I feel every time.

It was not difficult for me to spot the differences.
Like seriously...
We do not read the same reading materials.
As they are happily reading comical genre, I indulged in heavy reading.
I was strucked with materials that are politically and economically related.
They love to have a go with jokes, while I was all about facts.
They were talking about 9Gag and I will be talking on world happenings.
You do get what I mean right?

I try to adapt to how they are.
I fancy the idea of being a Directioner like my little sister.
I love football just like my brothers.
And I try to be funny in the way I know I can.
But never did I feel it's enough to be levelled off.

There's a saying that goes communications goes both ways.
In this case, I am always alone.
I don't feel the connected feeling to them.
They often find me as the joke.
They never take me seriously.
So what I always do was learn to be independent.

I learned everything that I needed to survive.
I know that life is not a fairy-tale.
I did my part on that very well.
I went out to the world and explore all the possibilities I'm able to.
Though I was not handed the key to freedom at 21, I eluded at every possible moment.

Being active in campus was my escape to all the negative feelings.
The adrenaline rush I feel was like no other.
It's my painkiller.
It's my kinda drug.

Mum was not feeling the vibe of me doing all the stuffs.
But dad was there all the way.
Having his words is like an energy booster.
He's like my magic potion to keep going even if the going gets tough.
He saw the him in me.
And I admit to myself that I am every bit of him.
No doubt.

For my every success, dad was there to reward.
In his own way, he always pour me with gifts.
Siblings and others may have a go at me for being needy for no reason.
My debate, I work hard to earn each one of it.
I ensure that I did something great to earn something good.
I was not having everything at my feet for no reason.
I ace in my studies, I became an ambassador, I overcome my fears.
I did what I thought I couldn't.
Isn't all that makes it eligible to all what I get?

Even to this moment, I am everything that I am writing.
I feel the loneliness.
I endure the emptiness.
I resurrect all that to become what I am today.
I believe that it is not a sin to indulge the fact that I'm daddy's girl.

After all, this is all that I am.

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