My Iron Lady

I have been eager to write on this for a long time.

However time constraint always gets the best of me. 

So now, here we go...

Along the years of my life, there has been a handful of people that will always have a special place in my heart. 

This very few people are those closest to me. 

Though they are close, I rarely utter words of appreciation to them.

Some may say that I seem to be taking them for granted. 

As for myself, I go about it in a whole new direction.

The individual that I will be talking about may already be known to many. 

Especially if you are one of those who is always by my side through the ups and downs. 

I often talk about her despite the love-hate relationship that we had since the very beginning. 

In previous post I have confessed on the fact that I am daddy's little girl. 

But I forgot to mention that I am also mama's little rock; her precious gem.

On this post, I will elaborate more on the matter. 

In the early days, I was troublesome. 

Looking back, I am always throwing tantrums that mama finds it hard to manage. 

Aside from that, I always have this feeling - I am the second fiddle. 

Be better and what not, I will always find myself being compared to how great my brother is.

I believe I still feel this up till this very moment.

If given a chance to reconstruct the past, there's one thing I would like to change. 

The fact that sometimes I was just too rebellious. 

I believe I have hurt mama in many ways when I was little.

I was the one who made her angry and she will not speak to me for some time.

I was the one who made her cry and went to bed in tears. 

I was also the one who dragged her back home from office just because I refused to go to school. 

I was beyond her control. 

But it was not known to her or anybody how awful I felt after all that. 

How I would stand by the side of her bed just to ensure she sleeps safe and sound.

How I would then grab a book and pour my heart out on how foolish and sinful I was. 

How I would jump on my bed, grab a pillow and shout wholeheartedly of my dumb acts. 

I was never brave enough to face it most of the time. 

Having said all that, I am thankful for the chance that was given to me this very day. 

At the age of 23, my mama is my best friend. 

She is the person I spent most of my hours with.

We travel to work together.

We hop on the lrt together. 

We go home together. 

We shop together. 

We dine together. 

We cook together.

We make fun of each other. 

We do everything together. 

The time spent together may not be enough to repay everything that she has done for me all these years. 

Never will it be enough for me to reciprocate how she functions on a daily basis. 

A working mom, raising 4 children and attending every important function and report cards day of each. 

She too cooks daily even when she was travelling Seremban-Kuala Lumpur everyday.

What more can I ask of her? 

For everything that I am today, it is because of this Iron Lady. 

Moulding me in the right way, the best way she know how. 

I will forever be in debt to her. 

I love you Mama. 

I always will. 

Embrace every moment...

Finally, I manage to get some time to update this blog of mine. 

As cliche as it sounds, a lot has been happening in life. 

Some major transformation, some normal routine and some amazing new find outs.

Life couldn't be much better than where it is currently at. 

I am currently undergoing my INTEC that is Intensive English Course that is conducted by British Council. 

At first I didn't really have a clue why we must undergo INTEC.

After almost 2 weeks of classes, I seem to get the rationale behind it. 

Trust me, language is more than just speaking and writing. 

There's so much more to it. 

And boy was I lucky to be here. 

My classmates are so lively and upbeat. 

Seeing them instantly brought the smile to my face.

Another thing that I am more than happy to share is the fact that they appreciate my music. 

Well, I may not be a professional composer or anything but I do write songs and I can sing. 

I usually keep it to myself. 

However on one fine evening, I was triggered by a competition that was to be held among all participants. 

A talent show. 

And they might need representative from every class. 

So I started to sing to myself and puuffff! 

The whole class know I can sing. 

I even sang in front of everyone after class.

Still can't believe I survived that. 

Oh ya, I created a song for the organisation as well. 

Not sure if it will be of any use, but I'm proud of my piece of music. 

In terms of professional life, I believe it is heading the right way. 

The path is laid out perfectly for me to take charge of. 

I am hopeful of whatever the future holds. 

And I am ready to embark this journey towards a better tomorrow. 

On the other hand, personal life is continuing to be stagnant. 

I'm enjoying this phase of life without the hassle of having to divert attention all over. 

I'm no longer in my comfort zone but I am comfortable.

I believe I am able to achieve my dreams. 

So now let the journey begins. 

Piece of truth...

My life seems to be at its best right now.

The opportunities that I have gotten is always a blessing I am forever thankful for.

Currently, I am in a training program; it's purpose is to equipped me with all the essentials I need.

I am really stepping into the real world now.

The so called working world. 

It is exactly a week ago that I decided to have a go at this.

I will not elaborate much on what the program is all about. 

From time to time, I will be updating on that I believe. 

So what will I be talking about now?

I am in the mood to talk about things that I came to realize from the talks that have been conducted in conjunction with the program I am undergoing now. 

Yesterday, the last session of the day was a talk about the Y Generation. 

Yes, some may recall that I have once written a post related to this issue. 

This time around, I am solely focusing on my generation; Generation Y.

A speaker was invited to talk us through the things we need to know about our generation. 

Fair enough to say that we are all well aware of what we are and how we conduct ourselves. 

But even when you think you know it all, you're not quite there yet. 

There will always be that little something that you missed out along the way. 

And that is what the talk provides me with; filling all the missing blanks. 

As an individual that is among the Y Gen, I have to admit that we are ambitious. 

At times too ambitious that we tend to be more vocal than practical. 

Many may not admit to this, but it really is. 

Ever heard of threats to leave the house, abandoned studies and etc. but then there you are still?

So there you go. 

It may not apply to all cases, but the mass is really just about the talks but never walk the talk. 

Another thing that I came to realize from yesterday's session was the fact that the views of generations earlier than the Gen Y seems to be so true rather than a misconception. 

We are the more flexible and adaptable to change than them. 

But we are also more laid-back and often take things lightly.

In other words we are not serious most of the times and that poses threat to oneself. 

We are at a positive altitude and negative altitude all at the same time. 

Truth is, we are not a born champion at balancing stuffs all the time. 

Many fail abruptly. 

The talk highlighted the strength of the Gen Y wholly. 

It also enlightened the weaknesses of the generation in depth as well. 

As hard as it is to accept all that, the truth speaks louder than anything else. 

I was open on anything that was to be thrown at me. 

I admit that Gen Y are not the best generation of all. 

We are at an advantage, but we need to be smart in taking up the challenges. 

We are smart, but we need to also stay grounded. 

Never ever feel content with where we are and what we are. 

Just bear this in mind, cloud nine is never to be our rightful place.

The irony and typical...

Often in life we came across a lot of things.
Some are new to us and some are so yesterday.
Being an observer of peoples' attitude, often than not surprises you.
Personally, I am no longer that surprised as I used to be previously.
As time passes by, you just get used to whatever that happens; the good, the bad, the beauty, the ugly.
You name it, everything flashes like a movie.

Just recently I indulged in a new book.
A book that I have kept my eye on for quite sometime.
Luckily, my aunt was kind enough to treat me and bought me the book.
Yeay!

Back to reality.
What is it about the book that makes me all hyped about it?
Firstly, it is a book of religious scenarios that offers a different point of view.
Closely related to my interest, it offers something that I have never encountered before.
The level of telling it straight just leaves a mark on me upon reading it.
In many ways it is such a truthful book and no one shall deny the fact.
I am not yet done reading the whole book.
But slowly I try to get the piece of truth by purely observing.

So that is what I did.
In seeking the truth, I am a step closer to the real deal.
It started out unintentionally; no plans, nothing.
I guessed it is true; it is only a matter of time before the truth is out.

Being in a new place, new environment often makes you want to explore everything.
Searching for the place to hang out, a place that provide peace and a place with good food.
Having done that, I found the peace place.
Literally, the place provides me a little breather.
It eases me whenever I am there.
Until the day I heard of a preaching session.

Before I begin elaborating on this, I have to make clear of a few things.
I am a believer of my religion.
I have nothing against those who are dedicated in preaching to others.
And I am certainly not any better than anyone.
All I am about to say it just my humble opinion and I am certainly not judging.

Here goes...
As I mentioned above, I am a believer of my religion and that is something very important to me.
Being a muslim, you're not just a muslim by name.
There's more to it than just the surface.
You practice what you believe, you portray what you believe and you are what you believe.
It's an easy concept and when you truly believe it really is that easy.

Having said all that in the above, I have great respect for those who dedicate their life to preach.
It is not a duty that fits everyone perfectly, but those who are doing it usually are meant to do so. Therefore, whenever I am available to tag along, I will be there and listen attentively.
One never stop learning is what I always holds dearly deep inside.
However this time around the preaching sessions jolts me.
It is something about the way it is being delivered that creates an uneasy feeling to me.
It brings me all the way back to the book that I have been reading.

Living in a country where everything is accustomed and seldom been questioned seems to take its toll.
I realized that over the years; due to the term accustomed, it has sparked a slight negativity to a group of people who often feels that they are above the law or regulatory that apply to the mass.
Just because there are looked upon as the one who people seek for advice and etc. they tend to have let everything goes to the head and rationale is no longer lingering at the back of their minds.
They do as they please, speak as they wish and they preach what and how they want instead of what and how they should.
You get what I mean right?

The author of the book clearly addressed this issue in his book.
Encountering it at four eyes meet was something I did not expect but am thankful to have been.
I feel sorry for the individual who was the one with all that I've said in the previous para.
It hurts me even more to admit that it really does happen; more often than what I am aware of.
When those who should be the fore fronts representing the religion act as such, what else is there to say?
You can't simply criticized them due to their 'rank' or 'social status'.
You are in a situation with no right of telling them what they're doing wrongly.
You are incapable of anything.

I may not be such a pious believer.
I am aware that I'm not 100% as what I am required to be.
Adding to that, I have always known that for a fact.
But then, just because you feel that you are pious don't make you any better.
What you feel and what you are, are two very different things.
Being pious do not possess you the right to condemned others.
And it certainly gives you no right to judge others as you may.

I have always been taught to never judge a book by its cover.
I believe that behind every man there is always a piece of goodness.
Behind every dark soul is always a pure heart that went out of track.
That is what my religion taught me.
Therefore, who are you to deny that of what I learn from the Holy Quran?
The Prophet himself is always humble and never a judge.

What I am trying to convey here is, just because you are regarded as such in the eye of the society doesn't really reflects the real you in the eye of Allah.
You may think highly of yourself but in reality you are never any better than any of those who you condemned or criticized.
Be reasonable upon preaching.
There is no need to used such vulgar or rude words referring to those who are not on the same page as you are.
Let them be who they are, it is a matter of them and the Almighty.

To remind another is not wrong, as long as the way of delivering is not harsh and in a mannerly way.
It is never easy to influence people to do good.

So why make it even more difficult by chasing them away even further with unethical words and methods?

Falling...

I have been dying to write on this for quite sometime.

For the very first time, I stumble upon a title for my post. 

I have not the slightest clue what it should be. 

All that I know is I am beyond thrilled for this. 

Of all the thing in this world, there's one that I have been trying to avoid. 

Those closest to me would have known this for more than a couple of years.

And those who just got to know me will raise an eyebrow every time I speak on the issue. 

What's the thing that I've been avoiding?

The feeling of falling for someone. 

Huh...lame ain't it?

I do feel that way too.

But then I realized, it is that feeling that sometimes exhibit the most human side of one. 

The part that shouts "You are a human ain't a robot." "You have a heart and it functions well."

Trust me the monologue could go on and on...I better stop. 

So what's up with that now?

Aha...the story shall begins...

Spending most of the time avoiding the feeling makes the heart forgets what it feels to fall again. 

In my case I really don't remember what it feels falling for someone.

I was so comfortable in my skin that my heart's alert system kept going haywire.

It was until some people mentioning it to me that I was finally dragged back to reality. 

However, when I came to my senses, I realized that the feelings have changed. 

Or it may be me who changed the most... 

I am no longer a teenager; the giddy, smitten part of me is now long gone. 

I'm now in my early 20's; the more mature side of me has unleashed. 

Falling for someone is no longer falling in love as it used to be way back then. 

There's more to it. 

At this very moment, there is a particular someone that I'm into. 

Someone that without him realizing brings out the best in me. 

Making me smile for no specific reason. 

Someone that eases me even in the most hectic time in life.  

Making me cherish life a bit more.

Someone that makes you wanna be a better person.

Making me wants to go the extra mile. 

I consider myself lucky to have met this person.

Not only because of what I'm feeling towards him.

It is more of the feelings that I have for myself.

And the exploding desire of getting close to the Almighty.

It is amazing to me that through all this I manage to get the better me. 

There are no words that could really describe the feeling inside. 

All that I kept uttering from day one is words of thankful and I am definitely blessed.

Of that I am sure...

I'm in a state where there's no high hopes of developing a relationship.

I am no longer fond of throwing myself into one.

There's more to life than just that. 

We are friends and may we forever be. 

As the future is not for any of us to foresee, I may stay hopeful.

But for most of the part, I leave it to the Almighty.

For he knows what's best for each one of us. 

:)

A New Chapter

It's been some time since my last post, and now I am back from hiatus. 

A lot has been happening since that very last post. 

New experience, new environment, new people and definitely a new perspective. 

I'm not sure where exactly to begin, but I'm definitely telling a story. 

Firstly, I got a job; my very first job. 

Trust me I was beyond excited and thrilled for that. 

Growing up I have always imagined the life that I wanted for myself. 

And having a job was definitely part of the prerequisite. 

So, mission accomplished. 

Or so I thought...

The job was fun, somehow there are issues I couldn't contemplate and therefore I quit. 

Of course having said that, I ensure a new job was in line first. 

:)

Next, I embark on a new experience that to me was too valuable. 

Since my job was in the metropolitan area of Kuala Lumpur, I need to travel back and forth daily; I still lives in Seremban with my family.

I signed myself up for a journey that many would rather pass than pursue. 

Having Mom by my side every day heading to the office are moments that will forever stays.

How many of us can utter "I went to the office everyday with my Mom."?

Boy, I was proud to be one of those who could say it our loud and proud. 

It created a bond that is now even tighter than it originally was. 

We are each others best best friends now.

Being in a new environment too means you'll be meeting new people. 

There are so many new friends that I came to know. 

As many would have known, me being me, I was all over the place. 

It was less than a month that I believe I have created some chaotic moments. 

I hijacked some individual's cubicle. 

I conquered the mean machine and caused a destruction most of the time; machine will either go LOCO or just give up and not work. 

Haha the good old days of the working life.

The one thing that I missed most of that chapter is the people that now I'm attached to. 

My colleagues turned out to be one of the finest batch of people I know up-to-date. 

Having them in life is another blessings that forever will stay and I really mean it. 

They are just ordinary people that makes my life extra ordinary. 

They fit in just perfectly into the my ever expanding circle of life. 

Everyday I am much more pumped up to go to work just to spend more time with them.

As I am writing this, I am deeply missing each and every one of them. 

Even now I am no longer a colleague, I still do spare some time visiting them at the office and having lunch together. 

It is one of the things that I am more than willing to do whenever the desire ignites. 

That marks the end of my post. 

There's more to come though. 

Life is never too dull to not have a story. 

Till I write again...

😊

Soft spot at heart.

Lately the world has been changing rapidly.
Along the way attitude changes big time.
You know when the moms' start talking this way...
"In the old days..."
And the next thing you know it goes on and on.

Hearing a lot of that really gives you the feeling.
"Oh yeah, everything changes now."
I may not have to go back as far as the 50's or 60's.
But back in the 90's, compared to now is still a lot of difference.

When I was little, I don't recall of any kidnappings or robberies of the scale we have now. 
Now, daily life is as similar as it could be in movies. 
Whatever that was once an imagination interpreted on the big screen is as real as what life can reciprocate.
Scary? Hell yeah.

Upon seeing all that on the front pages I wonder. 
What triggers that to happen?
What is the catalyst behind all that?
Could it be just pure evil or there's more to it than the eye could see?

It is debatable that attitude is what drives us all.
Could it really be that people rather be ignorant than caring of another being?

At times, I do agree with the idea that people are more fond of their life than others.
They no longer indulge in togetherness that once was an everyday sight.
We can't deny the fact that this kind of attitude do leave a stain to all mentioned above.
But to say that it has taken complete toll on us seems to be insensitive. 

I was out a little while ago for some groceries shopping.
I seldom do it on my own without my mom.
Honestly, I was a little scared and insecure to be there by myself.
But then, something happened.

The guy at the cashier greeted me and ask me, am I local?
In other words, do I live in the neighbourhood?
He was not familiar with my face and therefore he was curious. 
To some, they may get annoyed by this act.
As for me, I realized that people still care.
And the neighbourhood that I'm in still possess the trait that was once thought as long gone. 

When an act of such being potrayed you can sense the truthfulness.
Everybody has instinct that functions accordingly to how we want them to. 
Get connected to that part of you and the world will be a better place.
You don't need to commit heroic stunts to have your name on it. 
It's the small changes that makes huge impacts. 

I believe the world is still good; ib every human being there's goodness still.