Falling...

I have been dying to write on this for quite sometime.

For the very first time, I stumble upon a title for my post. 

I have not the slightest clue what it should be. 

All that I know is I am beyond thrilled for this. 

Of all the thing in this world, there's one that I have been trying to avoid. 

Those closest to me would have known this for more than a couple of years.

And those who just got to know me will raise an eyebrow every time I speak on the issue. 

What's the thing that I've been avoiding?

The feeling of falling for someone. 

Huh...lame ain't it?

I do feel that way too.

But then I realized, it is that feeling that sometimes exhibit the most human side of one. 

The part that shouts "You are a human ain't a robot." "You have a heart and it functions well."

Trust me the monologue could go on and on...I better stop. 

So what's up with that now?

Aha...the story shall begins...

Spending most of the time avoiding the feeling makes the heart forgets what it feels to fall again. 

In my case I really don't remember what it feels falling for someone.

I was so comfortable in my skin that my heart's alert system kept going haywire.

It was until some people mentioning it to me that I was finally dragged back to reality. 

However, when I came to my senses, I realized that the feelings have changed. 

Or it may be me who changed the most... 

I am no longer a teenager; the giddy, smitten part of me is now long gone. 

I'm now in my early 20's; the more mature side of me has unleashed. 

Falling for someone is no longer falling in love as it used to be way back then. 

There's more to it. 

At this very moment, there is a particular someone that I'm into. 

Someone that without him realizing brings out the best in me. 

Making me smile for no specific reason. 

Someone that eases me even in the most hectic time in life.  

Making me cherish life a bit more.

Someone that makes you wanna be a better person.

Making me wants to go the extra mile. 

I consider myself lucky to have met this person.

Not only because of what I'm feeling towards him.

It is more of the feelings that I have for myself.

And the exploding desire of getting close to the Almighty.

It is amazing to me that through all this I manage to get the better me. 

There are no words that could really describe the feeling inside. 

All that I kept uttering from day one is words of thankful and I am definitely blessed.

Of that I am sure...

I'm in a state where there's no high hopes of developing a relationship.

I am no longer fond of throwing myself into one.

There's more to life than just that. 

We are friends and may we forever be. 

As the future is not for any of us to foresee, I may stay hopeful.

But for most of the part, I leave it to the Almighty.

For he knows what's best for each one of us. 

:)

A New Chapter

It's been some time since my last post, and now I am back from hiatus. 

A lot has been happening since that very last post. 

New experience, new environment, new people and definitely a new perspective. 

I'm not sure where exactly to begin, but I'm definitely telling a story. 

Firstly, I got a job; my very first job. 

Trust me I was beyond excited and thrilled for that. 

Growing up I have always imagined the life that I wanted for myself. 

And having a job was definitely part of the prerequisite. 

So, mission accomplished. 

Or so I thought...

The job was fun, somehow there are issues I couldn't contemplate and therefore I quit. 

Of course having said that, I ensure a new job was in line first. 

:)

Next, I embark on a new experience that to me was too valuable. 

Since my job was in the metropolitan area of Kuala Lumpur, I need to travel back and forth daily; I still lives in Seremban with my family.

I signed myself up for a journey that many would rather pass than pursue. 

Having Mom by my side every day heading to the office are moments that will forever stays.

How many of us can utter "I went to the office everyday with my Mom."?

Boy, I was proud to be one of those who could say it our loud and proud. 

It created a bond that is now even tighter than it originally was. 

We are each others best best friends now.

Being in a new environment too means you'll be meeting new people. 

There are so many new friends that I came to know. 

As many would have known, me being me, I was all over the place. 

It was less than a month that I believe I have created some chaotic moments. 

I hijacked some individual's cubicle. 

I conquered the mean machine and caused a destruction most of the time; machine will either go LOCO or just give up and not work. 

Haha the good old days of the working life.

The one thing that I missed most of that chapter is the people that now I'm attached to. 

My colleagues turned out to be one of the finest batch of people I know up-to-date. 

Having them in life is another blessings that forever will stay and I really mean it. 

They are just ordinary people that makes my life extra ordinary. 

They fit in just perfectly into the my ever expanding circle of life. 

Everyday I am much more pumped up to go to work just to spend more time with them.

As I am writing this, I am deeply missing each and every one of them. 

Even now I am no longer a colleague, I still do spare some time visiting them at the office and having lunch together. 

It is one of the things that I am more than willing to do whenever the desire ignites. 

That marks the end of my post. 

There's more to come though. 

Life is never too dull to not have a story. 

Till I write again...

😊

Soft spot at heart.

Lately the world has been changing rapidly.
Along the way attitude changes big time.
You know when the moms' start talking this way...
"In the old days..."
And the next thing you know it goes on and on.

Hearing a lot of that really gives you the feeling.
"Oh yeah, everything changes now."
I may not have to go back as far as the 50's or 60's.
But back in the 90's, compared to now is still a lot of difference.

When I was little, I don't recall of any kidnappings or robberies of the scale we have now. 
Now, daily life is as similar as it could be in movies. 
Whatever that was once an imagination interpreted on the big screen is as real as what life can reciprocate.
Scary? Hell yeah.

Upon seeing all that on the front pages I wonder. 
What triggers that to happen?
What is the catalyst behind all that?
Could it be just pure evil or there's more to it than the eye could see?

It is debatable that attitude is what drives us all.
Could it really be that people rather be ignorant than caring of another being?

At times, I do agree with the idea that people are more fond of their life than others.
They no longer indulge in togetherness that once was an everyday sight.
We can't deny the fact that this kind of attitude do leave a stain to all mentioned above.
But to say that it has taken complete toll on us seems to be insensitive. 

I was out a little while ago for some groceries shopping.
I seldom do it on my own without my mom.
Honestly, I was a little scared and insecure to be there by myself.
But then, something happened.

The guy at the cashier greeted me and ask me, am I local?
In other words, do I live in the neighbourhood?
He was not familiar with my face and therefore he was curious. 
To some, they may get annoyed by this act.
As for me, I realized that people still care.
And the neighbourhood that I'm in still possess the trait that was once thought as long gone. 

When an act of such being potrayed you can sense the truthfulness.
Everybody has instinct that functions accordingly to how we want them to. 
Get connected to that part of you and the world will be a better place.
You don't need to commit heroic stunts to have your name on it. 
It's the small changes that makes huge impacts. 

I believe the world is still good; ib every human being there's goodness still. 

Daddy's Girl

I'll begin my post with this statement.
I am daddy's little girl.
No matter what, that will always be.

It is a known fact to my siblings.
Dad will always give in to me.
He may not say it out loud.
But his action speaks louder than any words can be.

Having said that, some may have the idea that I'm a spoil brat.
To some I may be.
At times I may be.
But then who will not be?
I doubt that anyone will have a pass at that.

There's absolute advantage to be one.
I won't deny the fact.
Seldom my wants are being denied.
However, the way I interpret these situations are not at par with what others may think.

My well being as daddy's little girl is not something that I often take advantage of.
Yes I do get what I want, from the early days.
According to mum, I was daddy's favourite right from the start.
I do get people in trouble when I throw in my tantrums.
I was kid back then, what do I know?
Debatable.

As I grow up, I am always a determined person.
From the girl who refused to enter school upon reaching the front gate of school, I blossomed beyond what people expect.
I turned out to be as diligent as one can be.
I become more hardworking in my studies.
And at a young age, I laid out my life plan.
I truly did and it is evident to many especially my closest friends.
Asked them, they will be saying that I'm well-organised and I'm capable of reaching the sky.
I believe I do.

One thing that many failed to realize was the one fact.
The fact on how similar I was to my dad.
Through my living years, I find it hard to be on the same page as my siblings.
It's like we are speaking different languages and living in different worlds.
We are so world apart that I often feel left out and abandoned.
It was tough for me.
They have no idea that was what I feel every time.

It was not difficult for me to spot the differences.
Like seriously...
We do not read the same reading materials.
As they are happily reading comical genre, I indulged in heavy reading.
I was strucked with materials that are politically and economically related.
They love to have a go with jokes, while I was all about facts.
They were talking about 9Gag and I will be talking on world happenings.
You do get what I mean right?

I try to adapt to how they are.
I fancy the idea of being a Directioner like my little sister.
I love football just like my brothers.
And I try to be funny in the way I know I can.
But never did I feel it's enough to be levelled off.

There's a saying that goes communications goes both ways.
In this case, I am always alone.
I don't feel the connected feeling to them.
They often find me as the joke.
They never take me seriously.
So what I always do was learn to be independent.

I learned everything that I needed to survive.
I know that life is not a fairy-tale.
I did my part on that very well.
I went out to the world and explore all the possibilities I'm able to.
Though I was not handed the key to freedom at 21, I eluded at every possible moment.

Being active in campus was my escape to all the negative feelings.
The adrenaline rush I feel was like no other.
It's my painkiller.
It's my kinda drug.

Mum was not feeling the vibe of me doing all the stuffs.
But dad was there all the way.
Having his words is like an energy booster.
He's like my magic potion to keep going even if the going gets tough.
He saw the him in me.
And I admit to myself that I am every bit of him.
No doubt.

For my every success, dad was there to reward.
In his own way, he always pour me with gifts.
Siblings and others may have a go at me for being needy for no reason.
My debate, I work hard to earn each one of it.
I ensure that I did something great to earn something good.
I was not having everything at my feet for no reason.
I ace in my studies, I became an ambassador, I overcome my fears.
I did what I thought I couldn't.
Isn't all that makes it eligible to all what I get?

Even to this moment, I am everything that I am writing.
I feel the loneliness.
I endure the emptiness.
I resurrect all that to become what I am today.
I believe that it is not a sin to indulge the fact that I'm daddy's girl.

After all, this is all that I am.

His Reception

Finally, I am back writing on this little page.

I miss updating my blog.

A lot has happened while I was away.

Now where shall I start?

Haaa...the reception.

Many have known that I was busy with all the prep for my brother's wedding.

The 'akad nikah' was just the beginning.

The reception was the major highlight.

It is where everything quickly summed to CHAOS.

Still, on 27th January 2013, the event went as planned. 

Though there was many last minute changes, it went on.

Families, relatives, guests were all smiles.

Yay! 

I'll let the pictures tell the whole stories. Wheew!

Mom in gold; she's everywhere, all over. Haha

Guest arrival part 1.

Guest arrival  part 2.

Here comes the bride and groom.

Errr what should happen next?

Into positions!

Silat in action. 

We made it to the stage. Pheeew!

Shine bright like a diamond.

Enough with the smiles, let's eat.

Almost done with the cake.

Finally.

Family, Bride and Groom, VIP.

His friends part 1.

His friends part 2.

Little brother goofing with Sister-in-law.

Move aside, we have arrived!

Having fun while our dress matched the pelamin.

Little sister and Little brother.

Beautiful ladies.

Mom.Sister-in-law.Me.

So there you have it. 

A picture worth a thousand words. 

By my count, I've written 22000+ words for this entry. 

Hahahaha

The only part that irritates me that day;

"So you're next in line. Bila lagi?"

When the time comes, I will proudly announce it.

For the time being, I'm fine the way I am now.

Young, Single and Fun. 

:D

X Y Gen

Lately everyday has been hectic to me.

Whether it is physically or mentally, both taken its toll on me.

Being the me that I am, I always tend to ignore rather than indulge.

But there will be times where everything is out of proportion. 

And all that you want to do is sigh all day.

Yesterday was somehow a breather to me.

I was back in UM for a little occasion.

It was a press conference for an upcoming conference co-hosts by UM and Taylor's University.

I'm not gonna elaborate more on the event itself.

There was a particular matter that caught my attention and I feel called upon to write on it. 

At one point, they emphasize on how different the Y Gen are to the  X Gen.

I can't agree more on the matter. 

Over the years I have observe and often being caught up with the issue. 

It is difficult to fill in the gap and create understanding for this issue in particular.

The X Gen will always sees life in one way, while the Y Gen will see it from many points of view.

It may not happen in all cases but in many it literally is. 

They sometime are struck and stuck with the old ways of doing things that they will directly reject any new approach in diverting on anything. 

The common example is in cooking. 

I love to cook, but I love to do it in a not so conventional way. 

I will do whatever I feel like. 

Nothing in order or nothing like the cookbook steps.

However, when I am in the kitchen with my mum or grandma it will be chaos.

To me it is chaos; I'm not allowed to do this and that, I need to follow this and that, I need to ensure I used this much amount of this and this and the list goes on and on. 

In the end, the dish ends up to be similar; more or less the same. 

So why the hassle when the result is equal?

One more thing about the Y Gen is that they are more laid back and they have flair. 

They may be bombarded with a whole bunch of to do lists, but still be relaxed. 

On the other hand, the X Gen will be taking it more seriously and push it to the edge.

Another example courtesy of my personal experience; Planning a wedding. 

The thing about planning a wedding, it involves A LOT of stuffs.

Attires, foods, decorations, invitations, guest lists and etc. 

I am officially the unofficial wedding planner.

I was asked to handle quite a number of tasks.

Mum instantly put me under a lot of pressure but I managed it adequately.

I did it without any hassle and was pretty at ease in doing everything. 

Mum however was a very different story.

She was anxious on everything. 

Whenever she is, I will be stucked with all the anxiety.

The pressure will be exerted straight to me and I will be pissed. 

I don't fancy doing things under that kind of pressure. 

The only pressure I love is when it comes from me. 

And that is how I function my best. 

The purpose I am writing on this is not to have a winner on which Gen is the better. 

Each of the two has their own strength and weakness to their names. 

The differences is something that is difficult to avoid given the years of life and living both had. 

However the gaps between the two can be closed if better understanding is formed.

The X Gen should incorporate new ways in approaching the Y Gen.

The Y Gen also should try to express in better ways to the X Gen. 

If we manage to find the right formula in decoding this issue, I'm sure life will be better.

We will understand one another much vividly than before. 

It doesn't hurt trying.

Let's get on board...

E!, Boybands and My rock!

A couple of days after the new year, I sat with my brother.
Unbelievably, we were watching E! together.
Yes we did!

However, I was not ashamed to admit that.
And I am sure so did my brother.
I'm sure some are asking, "What are they watching together on E!?"

Here goes...
15 Awesomest Boybands!

It was fun watching it with my brother.
It brought back tonnes of memory that we had during our early years.

My brother was my rock when I was little.
He was my president.
I even once said to my mom, "Mom, you're wrong, cause my brother didn't say so."
He was that great in my eye.

Whatever that he is interested, I'll indulged in it instantly.
He loves football, I was on board.
He loves boybands, I was not that far behind.

While watching, we were rekindling.
It was a special moment for me.
The likes of 98 Degrees, Boys II Men and N'Sync was flashing.
My brother and I were singing.
Kinda drooling like we used to be back in the days.
It was really something.

The show too did highlight some current boybands that made to the list.
The Wanted and One Direction to be exact.
But deep down, my brother and I had our own views.
Nothing beats the boybands back in the days.
They were magical.
They still are.

For the hours that the show was on, I was on cloud nine.
The boybands are part of the reason.
But for the win; is to have shared that moment with him, my brother.

I seldom say it or portray it.
I love you bro and I miss you.
I do.

P.S. : BSB was the awesomest of them all :D and so is my brother.