X Y Gen

Lately everyday has been hectic to me.

Whether it is physically or mentally, both taken its toll on me.

Being the me that I am, I always tend to ignore rather than indulge.

But there will be times where everything is out of proportion. 

And all that you want to do is sigh all day.

Yesterday was somehow a breather to me.

I was back in UM for a little occasion.

It was a press conference for an upcoming conference co-hosts by UM and Taylor's University.

I'm not gonna elaborate more on the event itself.

There was a particular matter that caught my attention and I feel called upon to write on it. 

At one point, they emphasize on how different the Y Gen are to the  X Gen.

I can't agree more on the matter. 

Over the years I have observe and often being caught up with the issue. 

It is difficult to fill in the gap and create understanding for this issue in particular.

The X Gen will always sees life in one way, while the Y Gen will see it from many points of view.

It may not happen in all cases but in many it literally is. 

They sometime are struck and stuck with the old ways of doing things that they will directly reject any new approach in diverting on anything. 

The common example is in cooking. 

I love to cook, but I love to do it in a not so conventional way. 

I will do whatever I feel like. 

Nothing in order or nothing like the cookbook steps.

However, when I am in the kitchen with my mum or grandma it will be chaos.

To me it is chaos; I'm not allowed to do this and that, I need to follow this and that, I need to ensure I used this much amount of this and this and the list goes on and on. 

In the end, the dish ends up to be similar; more or less the same. 

So why the hassle when the result is equal?

One more thing about the Y Gen is that they are more laid back and they have flair. 

They may be bombarded with a whole bunch of to do lists, but still be relaxed. 

On the other hand, the X Gen will be taking it more seriously and push it to the edge.

Another example courtesy of my personal experience; Planning a wedding. 

The thing about planning a wedding, it involves A LOT of stuffs.

Attires, foods, decorations, invitations, guest lists and etc. 

I am officially the unofficial wedding planner.

I was asked to handle quite a number of tasks.

Mum instantly put me under a lot of pressure but I managed it adequately.

I did it without any hassle and was pretty at ease in doing everything. 

Mum however was a very different story.

She was anxious on everything. 

Whenever she is, I will be stucked with all the anxiety.

The pressure will be exerted straight to me and I will be pissed. 

I don't fancy doing things under that kind of pressure. 

The only pressure I love is when it comes from me. 

And that is how I function my best. 

The purpose I am writing on this is not to have a winner on which Gen is the better. 

Each of the two has their own strength and weakness to their names. 

The differences is something that is difficult to avoid given the years of life and living both had. 

However the gaps between the two can be closed if better understanding is formed.

The X Gen should incorporate new ways in approaching the Y Gen.

The Y Gen also should try to express in better ways to the X Gen. 

If we manage to find the right formula in decoding this issue, I'm sure life will be better.

We will understand one another much vividly than before. 

It doesn't hurt trying.

Let's get on board...

E!, Boybands and My rock!

A couple of days after the new year, I sat with my brother.
Unbelievably, we were watching E! together.
Yes we did!

However, I was not ashamed to admit that.
And I am sure so did my brother.
I'm sure some are asking, "What are they watching together on E!?"

Here goes...
15 Awesomest Boybands!

It was fun watching it with my brother.
It brought back tonnes of memory that we had during our early years.

My brother was my rock when I was little.
He was my president.
I even once said to my mom, "Mom, you're wrong, cause my brother didn't say so."
He was that great in my eye.

Whatever that he is interested, I'll indulged in it instantly.
He loves football, I was on board.
He loves boybands, I was not that far behind.

While watching, we were rekindling.
It was a special moment for me.
The likes of 98 Degrees, Boys II Men and N'Sync was flashing.
My brother and I were singing.
Kinda drooling like we used to be back in the days.
It was really something.

The show too did highlight some current boybands that made to the list.
The Wanted and One Direction to be exact.
But deep down, my brother and I had our own views.
Nothing beats the boybands back in the days.
They were magical.
They still are.

For the hours that the show was on, I was on cloud nine.
The boybands are part of the reason.
But for the win; is to have shared that moment with him, my brother.

I seldom say it or portray it.
I love you bro and I miss you.
I do.

P.S. : BSB was the awesomest of them all :D and so is my brother.

Last words

It was a normal day to begin with.

Sitting on the couch and surfing through every channel.

Shortly after, I decided to watch How I Met Your Mother.

I’m not the typical type that clings to the show wholeheartedly.

But when I come to my senses, I’m into it as much as my other siblings are

Crazy and drooling over the show; we laugh our ass off.

The episode that was aired was when Marshall lost his dad.

He missed a call from his dad and he left him a message.

The fact that his dad has passed away put him in a dilemma; to acknowledge or ignore the message.

After a lot of talking and thinking, he finally decides to listen to the message.

It was the last words of his father to him personally.

When the time comes for him to listen, all of his best friends were there.

As always, they will always have each other.

He soon realizes that the message left was actually a pocket dial.

His dad accidentally pocket dialled him.

While he was elaborating on how he felt, the message was on loud speaker.

He was all disappointed that it was pocket dialled but still cherished his dad and the memories he have on him.

He keeps on talking and talking when suddenly he heard his dad voice on the message.

His dad was making fun on how his pocket sounded; it was nearly 5 minute.

And later, his dad says I love you.

Everyone was all teary and felt happy for him.

Though the real deal, his dad did say some other things after that, it doesn’t matter.

It was closely followed by a scene where every one of the cast made a call to their parents.

Marshall himself confessed that if it were to be the last time there were to be together, he wants all of them to know that he truly loves each and every one of them; Lily, Robin, Ted and Barney.

That very scene makes me a little teary.

And it made me fall into a deep silent moment.

If today were to be my last moment on Earth, what will my last words be to those who matters.

I never thought of it seriously, but the episode of HIMYM dropped the bomb on me.

I am still thinking as I am writing this post.

Who do I want to speak to knowing that my time is almost up?

I might be giving in on all of those who are in my head right now.

Who knows my time is just around the corner aye?

A lot of people come flashing into my mind.

Those who were there, was there and will be there.

So many people to thank, to love, to remember and to cherish.

So many things to say, to forgive, to see and to confess.

How will one manage to cover all that with the short time given.

Personally, I do feel the importance of last words whatever it may be.

Whatever that comes out at the very last second is what reflects us the most.

You’ll be remembered for that.

Trust me.

Here goes...

Those who I will be bothering with my last words.

Those who I will be talking to before everything ends.

To my mum and dad; Mama and Baba: Thank you for all the years spent raising me and fulfilling my every need. Though at times I am just inconsolable and irritating, you guys are always there and remain to be there for me. Through every falls, you guys never get tired to pick me up. And through every triumphs, you are the proudest you can be. I may not say this as often as I should, I love you guys. Always love you guys. Forever will love you both. And please forgive all my wrongdoings all these years.

To my siblings; Karami, Harizah and Khalif: Personally we fight a lot. We are always neck-to-neck with one another. We get bitter for silly stuff. And we truly get on each other nerves a lot. Beyond all that, deep down, I know life will never be the same without you guys. The joy and laughter that we share will forever remains dear to my heart. I miss you guys when we are apart but am just too egoist to admit the fact. Thanks for all the time spent. Thanks for always mending things and thanks for loving me through the good and the bad.

To my best friends; Aysha, Nysa and Dyba: It is still clear to me the day that we first became friends. From the childhood days to the adult years. We have been through many ups and downs. We are often separated by distance. But deep down, I always feel connected to each one of you. To me you are not just my best friends, you are my soul sisters. Even we seldom talks, I think of each of you every second of everyday. And forever I will love each one of you. Thanks for the friendships and memories that we continue to build day to day. Stay being the way you are, because to me you guys are the finest and greatest treasure that I own other than my family.  

To my first love; Faiez: What can I say? I have known you nearly half of my life. From the age of 12 up till now. The first person that taught me what it means to love. And the person that taught me a lot on life and the challenges. The person that accepted me for who I am. The person that was with me all the way until it ends. Was still there through it all even though the relationship ended. I will forever love and care about you. No matter how irritating or annoying or hurtful words you say to me, I will always care. Thank you for everything. And I’m sorry for everything that did not turn out to be. I hope you can promise me one thing, that you’ll be happy always. Please. I beg.

So there I’ve said it.

At the moment, these are the persons that are in my mind constantly.

Some due to love and care, some due to mistakes and failures.

I may not change a single thing that has happened in my life.

But some things I do wish to be in better state.

If today were to be my last, to those listed, I love you.

I truly do.

And nothing can ever change the way I feel about each one of you. 

His Big Day...

It has been quite sometimes since I last write a post.

So here’s a post for the lost time.

Last Friday was one of the most important days of my life.

Well not exactly mine to begin with.

But it was a moment to be remembered for sure.

It was the day my beloved and only big brother were to become a husband.

How time flies huh?

I sometimes still think my brother as a person who depended a lot on me.

It feels like only yesterday we were goofing around and made fools out of one another.

We may not be as close now as we are in yesteryears, but I love him.

Though at times annoying and irritating, he is what he is.

And he will always have my back like I always do.

He is my brother after all.

The ceremony took place in Kedah as my sister-in-law to be then was originated from Pendang.

It was a long journey heading there.

Mum decided to book a bus for both families; Mama’s and Baba’s family.

It was a big entourage people.

No doubt.

I wish I could elaborate more on the journey, but my journey there was another different story.

I was scheduled to have my final paper first thing 8.30am that day.

Bummer ey?

No worries, I still made it there.

Thanks to Mama for the flight ticket.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world; my first travel all by myself.

  

Brother was schedule for the akad nikah later that night after Isya’ prayer.

He and his own entourage were there earlier.

My arrival was greeted by them obviously.

I try to get a short nap, and bloody hell does my brother ensure the nap was short.

I assist him to wear ‘inai’ a few hours before the ceremony.

Not long after that, the entourage made their way there.

And the party was just getting started.

I was in charge of the ‘dulang hantaran’ from day 1.

Since the day is here, it was all up to me for the final touches.

It was a very simple design, but I’m so proud of how it turns out to be.

All made by me for the big day.

After all the suit up and make-up, we’re ready to head to the mosque.

I got to be honest, I was all touchy and I shed some tears.

It was kinda too good to be true.

My brother to be a husband already?

That kept playing over and over in my mind.

It was clear to see that he was nervous.

He went over to my mum and gave her a hug.

So did him to my grandmother.

He was always much closer to my little sister since we are all grown up now.

Lil sys couldn’t make it due to her presentation.

So it was only me and my little brother that was there.

I gave him a hug before we leave.

I was about to be all teary when my aunt snapped a photo of the hug.

What a moment that was.

The ‘akad nikah’ then took place.

All was well and with ‘sekali lafaz’ he is officially a husband.

My little brother and I were trying hard to not shed too many tears.

Shockingly Mama was all steady and smiles.

I did somehow predict she would be all emotional and caught in the moment.

Naah...she was A okay. 

With that we welcome the new addition to the family.

I finally have an older sister that I always wanted.

And what a joy that was. 

Everyone was all smiles.

Well who wouldn't be right?

So hello sister-in-law...

And the winner is...

Sometime in life, there will always be a moment that you’re lost in translation.

The moment where you, yourself are not certain on what’s going on in your life?

While others know better of your life than you do yourself.

Confusing huh?

Frankly speaking the situation is never a comfort.

Not for me at least.

Why?

Because my life is not a competition.

Yes I’m competitive, but only at the right moment.

It doesn’t go 24/7, 365 days a year.

I have never liked to outshine myself or let the light pour down on me too much.

If it happens, I count my blessings.

If it doesn’t, life goes on.

Simple philosophy.

I do not desire to complicate things.

Therefore when I feel people try so hard to compete against me it bugs me to the core.

Why the need to compete when there’s no competition to begin with?

And what is there to win that makes you so into it?

Make me understand I beg.

In my general point of view, there’s no need for all that.

A)     You’re trying so hard for something that’s not even worth it.

B)      You’re just wasting your time winning something that is not vivid.

C)      I’m just not into it.

If at any point in my life, I have ever triggered a competition as such, I think you need to read between the lines.

I have never indulged in such act and truthfully it is far from my wildest dream to ever declare such a competition.

Trophies, recognition and praises are not my forte.

My self-satisfaction is what I aim most in my life.

My greatest desire is for me to feel at ease with myself.

My biggest dream is to be the best I could be for me.

I challenge myself to achieve every bit of those two.

And I’m competing against myself to get to where I am currently.

So there you have it...

My circle

I used to be fine with the idea that I do have friends.

However recently it hit me hard when I am supposed to invite friends to my brother’s upcoming wedding.

It took me a long time to figure out my guest list.

Who do I really want to invite to the event?

Being the me that I am, I am a private person.

Talk to my closest friend, they might not even know what’s going on in my life.

Not because we’re not sharing or anything.

But that is just me.

The plain me.

Always keeping to oneself until the burden is no longer bearable.

So finally, after doing a lot of deep thinking, I finally have my guest list.

It keeps expanding from time to time for sure.

Most of my friends are no longer near me.

In other words, I don’t see them on a daily basis anymore.

Therefore, it took some time for me to get everyone into the list.

It may not be as many as people expect it to be.

But I am happy with those who made it to the list.

Just because, I love them so much.

And they matter a lot in my life.

Though we no longer have our daily hellos, it doesn’t mean that everything is already in the past.

Sometimes it is time like this that what one needs in life.

To have a moment to yourself and think about the loved ones.

Near of far it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that place in your heart will always be filled with them.

And that’s where they really should be.

My circle of friends. 

Best friends, sisters and brothers. 

Hakuna Matata

Third time’s the charm.

So they say...

Woke up yesterday to a text from one my favourite sister of all time.

She makes my eyes wide opened when she bombarded me with a question.

Just what I needed since I was all lazy and sleepy.

“How did you cope the feeling of lonely and being alone?”

I didn’t expect that as a morning call.

But then I smile.

Just because I can relate to the question, TOTALLY.

It has been quite sometimes that I am off the radar in the love department.

At first I do find it hard to digest.

Always being in a relationship for long periods make it much harder to accept that it is no longer there.

You’re alone and you just got to face it and deal with it.

Anyhow and anyway.

So what did I do to manage it?

First things first, I need to accept the fact.

Accepting makes it so much easier.

Just live life like you previously did when there was no one.

I soon realize, even during the period of relationships, I was all on my own.

I was never depending on others or my other half (so I thought).

I did what I was supposed to do, and I did even more for the relationship than I should have.

In conclusion, by not being in a relationship was a blessing for me.

A wake up call in general as I can make it alone.

Once I have accepted that, it’s time to divert.

Divert the attention and time spent longing, waiting and hanging on.

Indulge into a new hobby, find alternatives in other things.

There’s a lot the world could offer, you just need to look further and think outside of the box.

Don’t mourn the loss, stop the feeling of wanting to cry and lastly don’t cherish what has been lost.

It’s ok to have pieces of memories.

But don’t let if fall into the “what if..”, “maybe...”, “I should have...” box.

Let bygones be bygones.

You’ll be fine.

There’s no point of turning back when your heart is saying so.

Lastly, what I did was learnt.

Learnt from what has happened.

It is from all the mistakes that we are better.

It is from all that happen that makes us wiser.

And definitely that is what makes us mature in the future.

I will be lying to say that it is always smooth on the surface.

Still, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

There will always be some insecure feelings of ending up alone.

Just deal it in the best way you know how.

I can’t say this for all.

In my case, I indulge in writing and composing some songs.

Even if it is only for you, it makes you feel better.

Trust me, I've been there.

So why spent so many times worrying when there’s a lot of other things you can enjoy?

Held your head up high, straighten up.

When the time comes you’ll have what you seek.

The feeling of love and being loved. 

Hakuna Matata. 

Move it, Move it!

How’s your second day?

As for me...

Life is as normal as it could be; only with a little more conscience.

A new year marks a new beginning.

That’s the vibe that I have been feeling since the very first day.

It sure is not that long ago.

But still, I sense this year is different.

Call it maturity or growing up, every bit of that is taking place.

Right here and right now.

What I am excited about is the urge to be healthier.

I sense that as time pass by; people are ignoring the need to be healthy.

What more to having a healthy life.

It feels like an alien sometime when you mention the word health, jaws dropped everywhere.

Hello, am I talking rocket science or what?

It is no longer a secret that obesity is on the rise.

Even in children the statistics are striking like never before.

The need for a better lifestyle needs to be instilled.

I don’t expect everyone to jump off the seat and start working their ass off.

Running on thread mills for hours, jogging every freaking day, or start on some weights.

All I’m asking is for us to move ourselves.

I do believe it won’t hurt if we make ourselves move around.

Don’t just sit and lie down.

Take more walks, increase the steps we take every day and lessen the amount of unnecessary junks.

At this very moment, I am trying to practice a better lifestyle.

It may be baby steps, but I’m trying.

I aim to have a 30 minute routine of anything that makes me move.

Be it jogging, walking, anything that is at your comfort.

I am also more concerned on my food intake.

Previously, my dinner can be at any time from 6pm right up to 2am.

Not very healthy ey?

So if I can manage the change, I’m sure the rest of you can too.

It is never too late.

What you need is just the will to do so.

A little push will make it easier.

As for me, I don’t feel the usual me that is always on the go.

And that made me want to change.

So let’s do it.

Hope to share the results in few weeks or months to come.

Let’s move!

The New Year

Another year has gone. How time flies huh?

Looking back, each year will always be something different. And a lot of differences were spotted last year.

My take on the New Year? Well, let’s just take one step at a time shall we?

I’m done with my undergraduate studies at the moment. Soon to be out in the working life. That’s something that I’m looking forward to.

Any new resolution? Naah...though I have managed to keep most of my resolution in checks, this time I have none on the list. I think I’ll be fine without one.

So far it is looking great for me. Unleash many of my desire most in the last few months of 2012. I conduct a big programme for 8 weeks; mostly back-to-back events. I manage the crowds of thousands at one point. Being the master of ceremony has got to be one of the major highlights in my life.  

It was such a great year, 2012. Now with 2013, I welcome all the possibilities that it may offer. The good, the bad, anything and everything.

The skies may not be blue all the time, but the colour grey is not something that I’m not familiar with.

May 2013 filled with lots of happiness and joy along with the baggage that comes along. ;)