My Ramadhan

It is unbelievable that Ramadhan will be over soon.

Feels like it was only yesterday the first week of Ramadhan begins.

I have to say that this year Ramadhan has been the highlight of my life.

The whole month is just so special to me that I find it hard to describe with words. 

Nevertheless, here I am writing about this whole month. 

Time to head to office...

I have never find it difficult to fast. 

I always find myself prepared for the holy month as I often opt to fast on Mondays and Thursdays. 

It is always a good practice to really get yourself used to it when the time comes. 

This year around, it was something more than just fasting. 

It really test me in every aspects that it should. 

It is so early...

I am travelling daily; Seremban-Kuala Lumpur.

That is something totally new to me. 

I found myself needing some time to adjust to that. 

In the beginning I sigh a lot and wished that I won't have to endure it.

But after a week, I was all fine with it.

I anticipated it every day and I look forward to the journey. 

In addition to that, I was never late to the office. 

Despite the change in the office hour operation starting at 8.15 am compared to 9.00 am previously. 

I managed to work things out with the will of Allah. 

Alhamdulillah for that. 

Next was the constant backlash with traffic jams. 

As mentioned before, the travelling part needs me to pass through Sg Besi toll every working days. 

Yup, now the imagination is in action?

Visions of the massive traffic has got to be the worst part of every day. 

Being me that I am, I am grumpy at times. 

I don't like to be late and I am very particular with time. 

If it is possible, I would like to be there before the traffic begins to accumulate. 

However that is not the case for me. 

I will have to wait for mum to get all ready before the journey could begin. 

So that is another area that I found myself adjusting most of the time.

I need to be more patient, less cranky and calm all the time. 

Difficult it is, trust me. 

Upon reaching the office, it is a whole different story. 

I find myself all charged up, alive and jumpy. 

Some colleagues even say that I am perky at times.

While others find it hard to stay awake, I was never asleep in class.

That is the one thing that I always have difficulty in committing. 

Other than that, my attention span is much longer than average.

And I still manage to multitask; playing handphone and listening to lecture most of the time. 

Yay for that.

Sleeping but not in class

One of my many selfie. 

Another thing that I would really like to highlight in this post is my group of friends. 

To be more precise, my non-muslim friends at the office.

They have been the best part of my life for the past 2 months or so. 

Since the very beginning, I have never expected them to be the way they are. 

During this holy month, they try so hard to not even drink in front of us. 

Even if they have to, they will always apologize first before they proceed drinking or eating. 

Honestly, I don't really have a problem with that. 

But the level of respect they have for us that are fasting is really at a level I've never encountered before. 

They even decided to try and fast for a day and join us for 'buka puasa'.

That was one of the day where I just want to hug each and everyone of them. 

If may, I might have even give them a peck on the cheek for being uber awesome and sweet.

The fact that they want to try and manage to achieve it was one that will always stays in the mind and the heart.

My Londoners mate.

This is just the way they are.

You'll be crazy not to love them.

Love you guys a lot!

They made it. They fast for a day.

Other than that, I also manage to spend some time to 'buka puasa' with my ex-colleague. 

That is another part that I really enjoyed. 

We communicate most of the time through Whatsapp. 

So it was really fun to meet up and have real conversations; face-to-face encounter, rather than just through the screen of the phone. 

I even manage to pull some surprises for one of them as it happens to collide with the birthday. 

Birthday surprises have always been my forte back in college.

I was more than happy that I manage to get back to my creative side and pulled off yet another surprise. 

It was even more meaningful when the surprise really surprised the one that is being surprised. 

Hahaha ok ignore the above sentence. 

Having said that, there is another surprise heading their way for the festive season.

I guess I'll have to wait for the time to come before I bragged all about it.

Kak Ros and me.

Buka Puasa Green Gang 1.0

The surprise!

I believe this post is the longest post I have written.

We are almost at the end now. 

Just bear with me a little more. 

In terms of spiritually, this Ramadhan is the most humble of any. 

Believe it or not, I have not even once go to Bazaar Ramadhan this year. 

Yes, that is a piece of truth that I find really amazing. 

How could one not been to bazaar when it is at almost every corner?

I have no answer for that though. 

My daily meal is usually what mom and me cooks whenever we arrived home. 

Simple dishes that takes less than 30minutes to be prepared as we often reach home at 6.30pm.

This is also the first Ramadhan that I am always in the kitchen.

I have cooked for 'buka puasa' and 'sahur' as well.

The feeling when you cook for the whole family is just so special. 

I enjoy every moment of it. 

And I believe that when I have a family of my own, I won't have any issues to do the same. 

A little bit of digression there, my bad.

Hahaha.

Mum's the chef, I'm the assistant

By me, for me. Yummy.

Last point would be that I manage to create my own greeting cards for Hari Raya. 

It may be very simple but it is really something that comes from the heart.

I was so into making the card that mum always wondering if I will really hand it out to people. 

And yes I managed to pass it to those I intended to give the card to. 

Hand-made cards.

Special delivery.

I guess that pretty much covers everything. 

That is My Ramadhan experiences this time around. 

As it is coming to an end, I will definitely miss it once it is over. 

May I still be around for the coming Ramadhan.

If Allah wills it, InsyaAllah. 

The One and Only. 

My Iron Lady

I have been eager to write on this for a long time.

However time constraint always gets the best of me. 

So now, here we go...

Along the years of my life, there has been a handful of people that will always have a special place in my heart. 

This very few people are those closest to me. 

Though they are close, I rarely utter words of appreciation to them.

Some may say that I seem to be taking them for granted. 

As for myself, I go about it in a whole new direction.

The individual that I will be talking about may already be known to many. 

Especially if you are one of those who is always by my side through the ups and downs. 

I often talk about her despite the love-hate relationship that we had since the very beginning. 

In previous post I have confessed on the fact that I am daddy's little girl. 

But I forgot to mention that I am also mama's little rock; her precious gem.

On this post, I will elaborate more on the matter. 

In the early days, I was troublesome. 

Looking back, I am always throwing tantrums that mama finds it hard to manage. 

Aside from that, I always have this feeling - I am the second fiddle. 

Be better and what not, I will always find myself being compared to how great my brother is.

I believe I still feel this up till this very moment.

If given a chance to reconstruct the past, there's one thing I would like to change. 

The fact that sometimes I was just too rebellious. 

I believe I have hurt mama in many ways when I was little.

I was the one who made her angry and she will not speak to me for some time.

I was the one who made her cry and went to bed in tears. 

I was also the one who dragged her back home from office just because I refused to go to school. 

I was beyond her control. 

But it was not known to her or anybody how awful I felt after all that. 

How I would stand by the side of her bed just to ensure she sleeps safe and sound.

How I would then grab a book and pour my heart out on how foolish and sinful I was. 

How I would jump on my bed, grab a pillow and shout wholeheartedly of my dumb acts. 

I was never brave enough to face it most of the time. 

Having said all that, I am thankful for the chance that was given to me this very day. 

At the age of 23, my mama is my best friend. 

She is the person I spent most of my hours with.

We travel to work together.

We hop on the lrt together. 

We go home together. 

We shop together. 

We dine together. 

We cook together.

We make fun of each other. 

We do everything together. 

The time spent together may not be enough to repay everything that she has done for me all these years. 

Never will it be enough for me to reciprocate how she functions on a daily basis. 

A working mom, raising 4 children and attending every important function and report cards day of each. 

She too cooks daily even when she was travelling Seremban-Kuala Lumpur everyday.

What more can I ask of her? 

For everything that I am today, it is because of this Iron Lady. 

Moulding me in the right way, the best way she know how. 

I will forever be in debt to her. 

I love you Mama. 

I always will. 

Embrace every moment...

Finally, I manage to get some time to update this blog of mine. 

As cliche as it sounds, a lot has been happening in life. 

Some major transformation, some normal routine and some amazing new find outs.

Life couldn't be much better than where it is currently at. 

I am currently undergoing my INTEC that is Intensive English Course that is conducted by British Council. 

At first I didn't really have a clue why we must undergo INTEC.

After almost 2 weeks of classes, I seem to get the rationale behind it. 

Trust me, language is more than just speaking and writing. 

There's so much more to it. 

And boy was I lucky to be here. 

My classmates are so lively and upbeat. 

Seeing them instantly brought the smile to my face.

Another thing that I am more than happy to share is the fact that they appreciate my music. 

Well, I may not be a professional composer or anything but I do write songs and I can sing. 

I usually keep it to myself. 

However on one fine evening, I was triggered by a competition that was to be held among all participants. 

A talent show. 

And they might need representative from every class. 

So I started to sing to myself and puuffff! 

The whole class know I can sing. 

I even sang in front of everyone after class.

Still can't believe I survived that. 

Oh ya, I created a song for the organisation as well. 

Not sure if it will be of any use, but I'm proud of my piece of music. 

In terms of professional life, I believe it is heading the right way. 

The path is laid out perfectly for me to take charge of. 

I am hopeful of whatever the future holds. 

And I am ready to embark this journey towards a better tomorrow. 

On the other hand, personal life is continuing to be stagnant. 

I'm enjoying this phase of life without the hassle of having to divert attention all over. 

I'm no longer in my comfort zone but I am comfortable.

I believe I am able to achieve my dreams. 

So now let the journey begins. 

Piece of truth...

My life seems to be at its best right now.

The opportunities that I have gotten is always a blessing I am forever thankful for.

Currently, I am in a training program; it's purpose is to equipped me with all the essentials I need.

I am really stepping into the real world now.

The so called working world. 

It is exactly a week ago that I decided to have a go at this.

I will not elaborate much on what the program is all about. 

From time to time, I will be updating on that I believe. 

So what will I be talking about now?

I am in the mood to talk about things that I came to realize from the talks that have been conducted in conjunction with the program I am undergoing now. 

Yesterday, the last session of the day was a talk about the Y Generation. 

Yes, some may recall that I have once written a post related to this issue. 

This time around, I am solely focusing on my generation; Generation Y.

A speaker was invited to talk us through the things we need to know about our generation. 

Fair enough to say that we are all well aware of what we are and how we conduct ourselves. 

But even when you think you know it all, you're not quite there yet. 

There will always be that little something that you missed out along the way. 

And that is what the talk provides me with; filling all the missing blanks. 

As an individual that is among the Y Gen, I have to admit that we are ambitious. 

At times too ambitious that we tend to be more vocal than practical. 

Many may not admit to this, but it really is. 

Ever heard of threats to leave the house, abandoned studies and etc. but then there you are still?

So there you go. 

It may not apply to all cases, but the mass is really just about the talks but never walk the talk. 

Another thing that I came to realize from yesterday's session was the fact that the views of generations earlier than the Gen Y seems to be so true rather than a misconception. 

We are the more flexible and adaptable to change than them. 

But we are also more laid-back and often take things lightly.

In other words we are not serious most of the times and that poses threat to oneself. 

We are at a positive altitude and negative altitude all at the same time. 

Truth is, we are not a born champion at balancing stuffs all the time. 

Many fail abruptly. 

The talk highlighted the strength of the Gen Y wholly. 

It also enlightened the weaknesses of the generation in depth as well. 

As hard as it is to accept all that, the truth speaks louder than anything else. 

I was open on anything that was to be thrown at me. 

I admit that Gen Y are not the best generation of all. 

We are at an advantage, but we need to be smart in taking up the challenges. 

We are smart, but we need to also stay grounded. 

Never ever feel content with where we are and what we are. 

Just bear this in mind, cloud nine is never to be our rightful place.

The irony and typical...

Often in life we came across a lot of things.
Some are new to us and some are so yesterday.
Being an observer of peoples' attitude, often than not surprises you.
Personally, I am no longer that surprised as I used to be previously.
As time passes by, you just get used to whatever that happens; the good, the bad, the beauty, the ugly.
You name it, everything flashes like a movie.

Just recently I indulged in a new book.
A book that I have kept my eye on for quite sometime.
Luckily, my aunt was kind enough to treat me and bought me the book.
Yeay!

Back to reality.
What is it about the book that makes me all hyped about it?
Firstly, it is a book of religious scenarios that offers a different point of view.
Closely related to my interest, it offers something that I have never encountered before.
The level of telling it straight just leaves a mark on me upon reading it.
In many ways it is such a truthful book and no one shall deny the fact.
I am not yet done reading the whole book.
But slowly I try to get the piece of truth by purely observing.

So that is what I did.
In seeking the truth, I am a step closer to the real deal.
It started out unintentionally; no plans, nothing.
I guessed it is true; it is only a matter of time before the truth is out.

Being in a new place, new environment often makes you want to explore everything.
Searching for the place to hang out, a place that provide peace and a place with good food.
Having done that, I found the peace place.
Literally, the place provides me a little breather.
It eases me whenever I am there.
Until the day I heard of a preaching session.

Before I begin elaborating on this, I have to make clear of a few things.
I am a believer of my religion.
I have nothing against those who are dedicated in preaching to others.
And I am certainly not any better than anyone.
All I am about to say it just my humble opinion and I am certainly not judging.

Here goes...
As I mentioned above, I am a believer of my religion and that is something very important to me.
Being a muslim, you're not just a muslim by name.
There's more to it than just the surface.
You practice what you believe, you portray what you believe and you are what you believe.
It's an easy concept and when you truly believe it really is that easy.

Having said all that in the above, I have great respect for those who dedicate their life to preach.
It is not a duty that fits everyone perfectly, but those who are doing it usually are meant to do so. Therefore, whenever I am available to tag along, I will be there and listen attentively.
One never stop learning is what I always holds dearly deep inside.
However this time around the preaching sessions jolts me.
It is something about the way it is being delivered that creates an uneasy feeling to me.
It brings me all the way back to the book that I have been reading.

Living in a country where everything is accustomed and seldom been questioned seems to take its toll.
I realized that over the years; due to the term accustomed, it has sparked a slight negativity to a group of people who often feels that they are above the law or regulatory that apply to the mass.
Just because there are looked upon as the one who people seek for advice and etc. they tend to have let everything goes to the head and rationale is no longer lingering at the back of their minds.
They do as they please, speak as they wish and they preach what and how they want instead of what and how they should.
You get what I mean right?

The author of the book clearly addressed this issue in his book.
Encountering it at four eyes meet was something I did not expect but am thankful to have been.
I feel sorry for the individual who was the one with all that I've said in the previous para.
It hurts me even more to admit that it really does happen; more often than what I am aware of.
When those who should be the fore fronts representing the religion act as such, what else is there to say?
You can't simply criticized them due to their 'rank' or 'social status'.
You are in a situation with no right of telling them what they're doing wrongly.
You are incapable of anything.

I may not be such a pious believer.
I am aware that I'm not 100% as what I am required to be.
Adding to that, I have always known that for a fact.
But then, just because you feel that you are pious don't make you any better.
What you feel and what you are, are two very different things.
Being pious do not possess you the right to condemned others.
And it certainly gives you no right to judge others as you may.

I have always been taught to never judge a book by its cover.
I believe that behind every man there is always a piece of goodness.
Behind every dark soul is always a pure heart that went out of track.
That is what my religion taught me.
Therefore, who are you to deny that of what I learn from the Holy Quran?
The Prophet himself is always humble and never a judge.

What I am trying to convey here is, just because you are regarded as such in the eye of the society doesn't really reflects the real you in the eye of Allah.
You may think highly of yourself but in reality you are never any better than any of those who you condemned or criticized.
Be reasonable upon preaching.
There is no need to used such vulgar or rude words referring to those who are not on the same page as you are.
Let them be who they are, it is a matter of them and the Almighty.

To remind another is not wrong, as long as the way of delivering is not harsh and in a mannerly way.
It is never easy to influence people to do good.

So why make it even more difficult by chasing them away even further with unethical words and methods?

Falling...

I have been dying to write on this for quite sometime.

For the very first time, I stumble upon a title for my post. 

I have not the slightest clue what it should be. 

All that I know is I am beyond thrilled for this. 

Of all the thing in this world, there's one that I have been trying to avoid. 

Those closest to me would have known this for more than a couple of years.

And those who just got to know me will raise an eyebrow every time I speak on the issue. 

What's the thing that I've been avoiding?

The feeling of falling for someone. 

Huh...lame ain't it?

I do feel that way too.

But then I realized, it is that feeling that sometimes exhibit the most human side of one. 

The part that shouts "You are a human ain't a robot." "You have a heart and it functions well."

Trust me the monologue could go on and on...I better stop. 

So what's up with that now?

Aha...the story shall begins...

Spending most of the time avoiding the feeling makes the heart forgets what it feels to fall again. 

In my case I really don't remember what it feels falling for someone.

I was so comfortable in my skin that my heart's alert system kept going haywire.

It was until some people mentioning it to me that I was finally dragged back to reality. 

However, when I came to my senses, I realized that the feelings have changed. 

Or it may be me who changed the most... 

I am no longer a teenager; the giddy, smitten part of me is now long gone. 

I'm now in my early 20's; the more mature side of me has unleashed. 

Falling for someone is no longer falling in love as it used to be way back then. 

There's more to it. 

At this very moment, there is a particular someone that I'm into. 

Someone that without him realizing brings out the best in me. 

Making me smile for no specific reason. 

Someone that eases me even in the most hectic time in life.  

Making me cherish life a bit more.

Someone that makes you wanna be a better person.

Making me wants to go the extra mile. 

I consider myself lucky to have met this person.

Not only because of what I'm feeling towards him.

It is more of the feelings that I have for myself.

And the exploding desire of getting close to the Almighty.

It is amazing to me that through all this I manage to get the better me. 

There are no words that could really describe the feeling inside. 

All that I kept uttering from day one is words of thankful and I am definitely blessed.

Of that I am sure...

I'm in a state where there's no high hopes of developing a relationship.

I am no longer fond of throwing myself into one.

There's more to life than just that. 

We are friends and may we forever be. 

As the future is not for any of us to foresee, I may stay hopeful.

But for most of the part, I leave it to the Almighty.

For he knows what's best for each one of us. 

:)

A New Chapter

It's been some time since my last post, and now I am back from hiatus. 

A lot has been happening since that very last post. 

New experience, new environment, new people and definitely a new perspective. 

I'm not sure where exactly to begin, but I'm definitely telling a story. 

Firstly, I got a job; my very first job. 

Trust me I was beyond excited and thrilled for that. 

Growing up I have always imagined the life that I wanted for myself. 

And having a job was definitely part of the prerequisite. 

So, mission accomplished. 

Or so I thought...

The job was fun, somehow there are issues I couldn't contemplate and therefore I quit. 

Of course having said that, I ensure a new job was in line first. 

:)

Next, I embark on a new experience that to me was too valuable. 

Since my job was in the metropolitan area of Kuala Lumpur, I need to travel back and forth daily; I still lives in Seremban with my family.

I signed myself up for a journey that many would rather pass than pursue. 

Having Mom by my side every day heading to the office are moments that will forever stays.

How many of us can utter "I went to the office everyday with my Mom."?

Boy, I was proud to be one of those who could say it our loud and proud. 

It created a bond that is now even tighter than it originally was. 

We are each others best best friends now.

Being in a new environment too means you'll be meeting new people. 

There are so many new friends that I came to know. 

As many would have known, me being me, I was all over the place. 

It was less than a month that I believe I have created some chaotic moments. 

I hijacked some individual's cubicle. 

I conquered the mean machine and caused a destruction most of the time; machine will either go LOCO or just give up and not work. 

Haha the good old days of the working life.

The one thing that I missed most of that chapter is the people that now I'm attached to. 

My colleagues turned out to be one of the finest batch of people I know up-to-date. 

Having them in life is another blessings that forever will stay and I really mean it. 

They are just ordinary people that makes my life extra ordinary. 

They fit in just perfectly into the my ever expanding circle of life. 

Everyday I am much more pumped up to go to work just to spend more time with them.

As I am writing this, I am deeply missing each and every one of them. 

Even now I am no longer a colleague, I still do spare some time visiting them at the office and having lunch together. 

It is one of the things that I am more than willing to do whenever the desire ignites. 

That marks the end of my post. 

There's more to come though. 

Life is never too dull to not have a story. 

Till I write again...

😊

Soft spot at heart.

Lately the world has been changing rapidly.
Along the way attitude changes big time.
You know when the moms' start talking this way...
"In the old days..."
And the next thing you know it goes on and on.

Hearing a lot of that really gives you the feeling.
"Oh yeah, everything changes now."
I may not have to go back as far as the 50's or 60's.
But back in the 90's, compared to now is still a lot of difference.

When I was little, I don't recall of any kidnappings or robberies of the scale we have now. 
Now, daily life is as similar as it could be in movies. 
Whatever that was once an imagination interpreted on the big screen is as real as what life can reciprocate.
Scary? Hell yeah.

Upon seeing all that on the front pages I wonder. 
What triggers that to happen?
What is the catalyst behind all that?
Could it be just pure evil or there's more to it than the eye could see?

It is debatable that attitude is what drives us all.
Could it really be that people rather be ignorant than caring of another being?

At times, I do agree with the idea that people are more fond of their life than others.
They no longer indulge in togetherness that once was an everyday sight.
We can't deny the fact that this kind of attitude do leave a stain to all mentioned above.
But to say that it has taken complete toll on us seems to be insensitive. 

I was out a little while ago for some groceries shopping.
I seldom do it on my own without my mom.
Honestly, I was a little scared and insecure to be there by myself.
But then, something happened.

The guy at the cashier greeted me and ask me, am I local?
In other words, do I live in the neighbourhood?
He was not familiar with my face and therefore he was curious. 
To some, they may get annoyed by this act.
As for me, I realized that people still care.
And the neighbourhood that I'm in still possess the trait that was once thought as long gone. 

When an act of such being potrayed you can sense the truthfulness.
Everybody has instinct that functions accordingly to how we want them to. 
Get connected to that part of you and the world will be a better place.
You don't need to commit heroic stunts to have your name on it. 
It's the small changes that makes huge impacts. 

I believe the world is still good; ib every human being there's goodness still. 

Daddy's Girl

I'll begin my post with this statement.
I am daddy's little girl.
No matter what, that will always be.

It is a known fact to my siblings.
Dad will always give in to me.
He may not say it out loud.
But his action speaks louder than any words can be.

Having said that, some may have the idea that I'm a spoil brat.
To some I may be.
At times I may be.
But then who will not be?
I doubt that anyone will have a pass at that.

There's absolute advantage to be one.
I won't deny the fact.
Seldom my wants are being denied.
However, the way I interpret these situations are not at par with what others may think.

My well being as daddy's little girl is not something that I often take advantage of.
Yes I do get what I want, from the early days.
According to mum, I was daddy's favourite right from the start.
I do get people in trouble when I throw in my tantrums.
I was kid back then, what do I know?
Debatable.

As I grow up, I am always a determined person.
From the girl who refused to enter school upon reaching the front gate of school, I blossomed beyond what people expect.
I turned out to be as diligent as one can be.
I become more hardworking in my studies.
And at a young age, I laid out my life plan.
I truly did and it is evident to many especially my closest friends.
Asked them, they will be saying that I'm well-organised and I'm capable of reaching the sky.
I believe I do.

One thing that many failed to realize was the one fact.
The fact on how similar I was to my dad.
Through my living years, I find it hard to be on the same page as my siblings.
It's like we are speaking different languages and living in different worlds.
We are so world apart that I often feel left out and abandoned.
It was tough for me.
They have no idea that was what I feel every time.

It was not difficult for me to spot the differences.
Like seriously...
We do not read the same reading materials.
As they are happily reading comical genre, I indulged in heavy reading.
I was strucked with materials that are politically and economically related.
They love to have a go with jokes, while I was all about facts.
They were talking about 9Gag and I will be talking on world happenings.
You do get what I mean right?

I try to adapt to how they are.
I fancy the idea of being a Directioner like my little sister.
I love football just like my brothers.
And I try to be funny in the way I know I can.
But never did I feel it's enough to be levelled off.

There's a saying that goes communications goes both ways.
In this case, I am always alone.
I don't feel the connected feeling to them.
They often find me as the joke.
They never take me seriously.
So what I always do was learn to be independent.

I learned everything that I needed to survive.
I know that life is not a fairy-tale.
I did my part on that very well.
I went out to the world and explore all the possibilities I'm able to.
Though I was not handed the key to freedom at 21, I eluded at every possible moment.

Being active in campus was my escape to all the negative feelings.
The adrenaline rush I feel was like no other.
It's my painkiller.
It's my kinda drug.

Mum was not feeling the vibe of me doing all the stuffs.
But dad was there all the way.
Having his words is like an energy booster.
He's like my magic potion to keep going even if the going gets tough.
He saw the him in me.
And I admit to myself that I am every bit of him.
No doubt.

For my every success, dad was there to reward.
In his own way, he always pour me with gifts.
Siblings and others may have a go at me for being needy for no reason.
My debate, I work hard to earn each one of it.
I ensure that I did something great to earn something good.
I was not having everything at my feet for no reason.
I ace in my studies, I became an ambassador, I overcome my fears.
I did what I thought I couldn't.
Isn't all that makes it eligible to all what I get?

Even to this moment, I am everything that I am writing.
I feel the loneliness.
I endure the emptiness.
I resurrect all that to become what I am today.
I believe that it is not a sin to indulge the fact that I'm daddy's girl.

After all, this is all that I am.

His Reception

Finally, I am back writing on this little page.

I miss updating my blog.

A lot has happened while I was away.

Now where shall I start?

Haaa...the reception.

Many have known that I was busy with all the prep for my brother's wedding.

The 'akad nikah' was just the beginning.

The reception was the major highlight.

It is where everything quickly summed to CHAOS.

Still, on 27th January 2013, the event went as planned. 

Though there was many last minute changes, it went on.

Families, relatives, guests were all smiles.

Yay! 

I'll let the pictures tell the whole stories. Wheew!

Mom in gold; she's everywhere, all over. Haha

Guest arrival part 1.

Guest arrival  part 2.

Here comes the bride and groom.

Errr what should happen next?

Into positions!

Silat in action. 

We made it to the stage. Pheeew!

Shine bright like a diamond.

Enough with the smiles, let's eat.

Almost done with the cake.

Finally.

Family, Bride and Groom, VIP.

His friends part 1.

His friends part 2.

Little brother goofing with Sister-in-law.

Move aside, we have arrived!

Having fun while our dress matched the pelamin.

Little sister and Little brother.

Beautiful ladies.

Mom.Sister-in-law.Me.

So there you have it. 

A picture worth a thousand words. 

By my count, I've written 22000+ words for this entry. 

Hahahaha

The only part that irritates me that day;

"So you're next in line. Bila lagi?"

When the time comes, I will proudly announce it.

For the time being, I'm fine the way I am now.

Young, Single and Fun. 

:D

X Y Gen

Lately everyday has been hectic to me.

Whether it is physically or mentally, both taken its toll on me.

Being the me that I am, I always tend to ignore rather than indulge.

But there will be times where everything is out of proportion. 

And all that you want to do is sigh all day.

Yesterday was somehow a breather to me.

I was back in UM for a little occasion.

It was a press conference for an upcoming conference co-hosts by UM and Taylor's University.

I'm not gonna elaborate more on the event itself.

There was a particular matter that caught my attention and I feel called upon to write on it. 

At one point, they emphasize on how different the Y Gen are to the  X Gen.

I can't agree more on the matter. 

Over the years I have observe and often being caught up with the issue. 

It is difficult to fill in the gap and create understanding for this issue in particular.

The X Gen will always sees life in one way, while the Y Gen will see it from many points of view.

It may not happen in all cases but in many it literally is. 

They sometime are struck and stuck with the old ways of doing things that they will directly reject any new approach in diverting on anything. 

The common example is in cooking. 

I love to cook, but I love to do it in a not so conventional way. 

I will do whatever I feel like. 

Nothing in order or nothing like the cookbook steps.

However, when I am in the kitchen with my mum or grandma it will be chaos.

To me it is chaos; I'm not allowed to do this and that, I need to follow this and that, I need to ensure I used this much amount of this and this and the list goes on and on. 

In the end, the dish ends up to be similar; more or less the same. 

So why the hassle when the result is equal?

One more thing about the Y Gen is that they are more laid back and they have flair. 

They may be bombarded with a whole bunch of to do lists, but still be relaxed. 

On the other hand, the X Gen will be taking it more seriously and push it to the edge.

Another example courtesy of my personal experience; Planning a wedding. 

The thing about planning a wedding, it involves A LOT of stuffs.

Attires, foods, decorations, invitations, guest lists and etc. 

I am officially the unofficial wedding planner.

I was asked to handle quite a number of tasks.

Mum instantly put me under a lot of pressure but I managed it adequately.

I did it without any hassle and was pretty at ease in doing everything. 

Mum however was a very different story.

She was anxious on everything. 

Whenever she is, I will be stucked with all the anxiety.

The pressure will be exerted straight to me and I will be pissed. 

I don't fancy doing things under that kind of pressure. 

The only pressure I love is when it comes from me. 

And that is how I function my best. 

The purpose I am writing on this is not to have a winner on which Gen is the better. 

Each of the two has their own strength and weakness to their names. 

The differences is something that is difficult to avoid given the years of life and living both had. 

However the gaps between the two can be closed if better understanding is formed.

The X Gen should incorporate new ways in approaching the Y Gen.

The Y Gen also should try to express in better ways to the X Gen. 

If we manage to find the right formula in decoding this issue, I'm sure life will be better.

We will understand one another much vividly than before. 

It doesn't hurt trying.

Let's get on board...

E!, Boybands and My rock!

A couple of days after the new year, I sat with my brother.
Unbelievably, we were watching E! together.
Yes we did!

However, I was not ashamed to admit that.
And I am sure so did my brother.
I'm sure some are asking, "What are they watching together on E!?"

Here goes...
15 Awesomest Boybands!

It was fun watching it with my brother.
It brought back tonnes of memory that we had during our early years.

My brother was my rock when I was little.
He was my president.
I even once said to my mom, "Mom, you're wrong, cause my brother didn't say so."
He was that great in my eye.

Whatever that he is interested, I'll indulged in it instantly.
He loves football, I was on board.
He loves boybands, I was not that far behind.

While watching, we were rekindling.
It was a special moment for me.
The likes of 98 Degrees, Boys II Men and N'Sync was flashing.
My brother and I were singing.
Kinda drooling like we used to be back in the days.
It was really something.

The show too did highlight some current boybands that made to the list.
The Wanted and One Direction to be exact.
But deep down, my brother and I had our own views.
Nothing beats the boybands back in the days.
They were magical.
They still are.

For the hours that the show was on, I was on cloud nine.
The boybands are part of the reason.
But for the win; is to have shared that moment with him, my brother.

I seldom say it or portray it.
I love you bro and I miss you.
I do.

P.S. : BSB was the awesomest of them all :D and so is my brother.

Last words

It was a normal day to begin with.

Sitting on the couch and surfing through every channel.

Shortly after, I decided to watch How I Met Your Mother.

I’m not the typical type that clings to the show wholeheartedly.

But when I come to my senses, I’m into it as much as my other siblings are

Crazy and drooling over the show; we laugh our ass off.

The episode that was aired was when Marshall lost his dad.

He missed a call from his dad and he left him a message.

The fact that his dad has passed away put him in a dilemma; to acknowledge or ignore the message.

After a lot of talking and thinking, he finally decides to listen to the message.

It was the last words of his father to him personally.

When the time comes for him to listen, all of his best friends were there.

As always, they will always have each other.

He soon realizes that the message left was actually a pocket dial.

His dad accidentally pocket dialled him.

While he was elaborating on how he felt, the message was on loud speaker.

He was all disappointed that it was pocket dialled but still cherished his dad and the memories he have on him.

He keeps on talking and talking when suddenly he heard his dad voice on the message.

His dad was making fun on how his pocket sounded; it was nearly 5 minute.

And later, his dad says I love you.

Everyone was all teary and felt happy for him.

Though the real deal, his dad did say some other things after that, it doesn’t matter.

It was closely followed by a scene where every one of the cast made a call to their parents.

Marshall himself confessed that if it were to be the last time there were to be together, he wants all of them to know that he truly loves each and every one of them; Lily, Robin, Ted and Barney.

That very scene makes me a little teary.

And it made me fall into a deep silent moment.

If today were to be my last moment on Earth, what will my last words be to those who matters.

I never thought of it seriously, but the episode of HIMYM dropped the bomb on me.

I am still thinking as I am writing this post.

Who do I want to speak to knowing that my time is almost up?

I might be giving in on all of those who are in my head right now.

Who knows my time is just around the corner aye?

A lot of people come flashing into my mind.

Those who were there, was there and will be there.

So many people to thank, to love, to remember and to cherish.

So many things to say, to forgive, to see and to confess.

How will one manage to cover all that with the short time given.

Personally, I do feel the importance of last words whatever it may be.

Whatever that comes out at the very last second is what reflects us the most.

You’ll be remembered for that.

Trust me.

Here goes...

Those who I will be bothering with my last words.

Those who I will be talking to before everything ends.

To my mum and dad; Mama and Baba: Thank you for all the years spent raising me and fulfilling my every need. Though at times I am just inconsolable and irritating, you guys are always there and remain to be there for me. Through every falls, you guys never get tired to pick me up. And through every triumphs, you are the proudest you can be. I may not say this as often as I should, I love you guys. Always love you guys. Forever will love you both. And please forgive all my wrongdoings all these years.

To my siblings; Karami, Harizah and Khalif: Personally we fight a lot. We are always neck-to-neck with one another. We get bitter for silly stuff. And we truly get on each other nerves a lot. Beyond all that, deep down, I know life will never be the same without you guys. The joy and laughter that we share will forever remains dear to my heart. I miss you guys when we are apart but am just too egoist to admit the fact. Thanks for all the time spent. Thanks for always mending things and thanks for loving me through the good and the bad.

To my best friends; Aysha, Nysa and Dyba: It is still clear to me the day that we first became friends. From the childhood days to the adult years. We have been through many ups and downs. We are often separated by distance. But deep down, I always feel connected to each one of you. To me you are not just my best friends, you are my soul sisters. Even we seldom talks, I think of each of you every second of everyday. And forever I will love each one of you. Thanks for the friendships and memories that we continue to build day to day. Stay being the way you are, because to me you guys are the finest and greatest treasure that I own other than my family.  

To my first love; Faiez: What can I say? I have known you nearly half of my life. From the age of 12 up till now. The first person that taught me what it means to love. And the person that taught me a lot on life and the challenges. The person that accepted me for who I am. The person that was with me all the way until it ends. Was still there through it all even though the relationship ended. I will forever love and care about you. No matter how irritating or annoying or hurtful words you say to me, I will always care. Thank you for everything. And I’m sorry for everything that did not turn out to be. I hope you can promise me one thing, that you’ll be happy always. Please. I beg.

So there I’ve said it.

At the moment, these are the persons that are in my mind constantly.

Some due to love and care, some due to mistakes and failures.

I may not change a single thing that has happened in my life.

But some things I do wish to be in better state.

If today were to be my last, to those listed, I love you.

I truly do.

And nothing can ever change the way I feel about each one of you.